Dad jokes are the worst jokes ever,
and the only one laughing is him.
My girls and me all rolling our eyes.
He starts laughing
before he’s even told the joke,
choking,
trying to get the first words out.
The girls and me:
“Oh crap.”
“What do you get when cats eat udon?”
We groan.
“Katsudon!”
He slaps his knees,
laughing.
“What the fuck, Dad?”
“See what I just did there?
I took cats and udon
and made katsudon!”
He laughs some more.
Then he starts explaining.
“Did you see what I just did there?”
The girls groan in anguish.
When we drive long distances,
one of them will say,
“Dad, tell us another dad joke.”
I start welling up.
“Girls, what do you put on when you leave the house?”
“I don't know, Dad.”
“Sunscream!”
“Daaaaaad!”
“Yes! Because if you don't put on your sunscreen, your mum will scream!”
“Do you see what I just did there?”
I look over at him and mouth, “thank you.”
When baby two leaves the dinner table and says:
“I’m going to take a shower”
He says,
“Okay baby, don’t forget to use water.”
She says,
“Okay, Dad.”
